Camping With The Brotherhood
by ERoD
Summary: Pietro has the brilliant idea to go camping and drags the rest of the gang along for the ride. Enjoy the insanity as they deal with jellyfish, raccoons, and a tent that refuses to be set up.
1. Pietro's Great Idea

Okay, this fic is written by Klinoa and Chiharu Nekama, two members of The Evil Role-Players of Doom. Be forewarned, it's insane, but in a humorous way.

Ironically enough, many of the events that take place in this story are actually based on Klin and Chi's many camping trips.

**DISCLAIMER:** Right now we own nothing. Although, we will be adding a few OC's later on. no one big, just some minor chacters to spruce things up a little.

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**Chapter 1**

**Pietro's Great Idea**

It was a warm sunny day in early August, and the Brotherhood Boarding House, for once, had no strange activities going on inside. Freddy sat, eating, in front of the T.v., Toad sitting beside him, eyes fixated closely on the screen. Wanda was avoiding the boys upstairs, holed up in her bedroom.

Lance seemed to be the only one who was actually doing anything of any purpose. He was standing shirtless in the driveway, looking remarkably like a cowboy with the hose in one hand and a soapy sponge in the other. He was ready to take on the dry mud the defiled the chassis of his baby.

As he was about to start scrubbing the black jeep he cared so deeply for, he was almost run down by a streak of flesh and silver in blue jeans, "Pietro!" He snapped, picking up the hose he had dropped in the shock of the encounter. "Watch it! You almost knocked me over!"

"B-But Lance!" Pietro exclaimed, skidding to a stop and whirling around, waving a folded advertisement in his hand. "I found the coolest thing ever! You've got to see it! We've got to go! Look look look- why don't you have a shirt on?"

Fighting the urge to hit something, namely Pietro, Lance growled. "I am not wearing a shirt because I am working on my jeep and it is a million degrees out here." Glancing at the piece of paper still clutched in Pietro's fist, he said, "Now I know I am going to regret this, but what've you got there?"

"Oh man, you'll love it! I was in the mall, and this hot girl was handing out flyers for this awesome campground. We have to go. It's got a canteen, tennis courts, mini golf, a playground, and this perfect beach! I'm sure there'll be tons of gorgeous girls there, all of which will adore me. Can we go? Please please PLEASE?"

Lance sighed. It was the theater thing all over again. The last time Pietro had dragged them all somewhere, it had not ended well.

"Pietro we are not going camping. I repeat, we are NOT going camping."

"But we have to go camping. We HAVE to!" Pietro whined at him, approaching him with a trembling lower lip. "Please? We must! If we don't, I swear I'll die!"

"We are not going camping!" Lance repeated gruffly, giving Pietro a 'give it up' look. Pietro let out a cry of mourning and fell to the pavement, curling into a ball and shivering like a frightened animal. Lance shook his head at hid companion and began to scrub the hood of his jeep.

A few moments later, Toad poked his head out an open window in the living room. "Hey, guys!" He called hopping out the opening and onto the grass. "Watcha doin'?" He promptly caught a beetle and popped it into his mouth.

Lance curled his lip in distaste. "That is disgusting Toad."

The frogboy shrugged. "It might be gross to you man, but I love it." He then noticed the shaking ball that was Pietro. "Hey yo, what's wrong with Pietro?"

"Nothing a few dozen years of therapy wouldn't cure." Lance muttered.

Pietro sprang up, "That's not true. I'm terribly hurt because you won't take us camping. You are a HORRIBLE friends Lance Alvers! Horrible."

"Camping?" Toad piped up, "We were gonna go camping? Why can't we go camping Lance? I wanna go camping?"

"We're not going camping, Toad! Will you both just leave me alone?" He scrubbed at his jeep in silence for a few moments, then turned to his friends. "Will you two please go away and stop staring at the back of my head?"

Pietro opened his mouth to speak and ended up gurgling with a jet of water in his mouth. Doubling over, choking on the water, and Lance spun to face Toad and sprayed him in the side of the head as he tried to escape.

Pietro and Toad began to scream as they scampered around the front yard, becoming soaked as Lance sprayed them both several more times. Pietro let out a high pitched scream, scrambling out of the way and smashing into the side of the house.

"Oh the agony! I'm injured! I've broken something! My hair is out of pace! I'm going to be horribly disfigured! Oh the humanity!"

Toad crouched next to him, adding to the tirade. "Man Lance. Look at what you did, not only have you crushed our dreams by saying that we can't go camping, but you've hurt Pietro as well. What is wrong with you man?"

Freddy, who seemed to have been alerted by the creaming from the front lawn, suddenly appeared in the doorway. "What're you guys doing out here?" He asked. "I can't hear my T.v. shows."

"He won't let us go camping Freddy!" Pietro announced, shaking his head and spraying Toad with more water. "You wanna go camping, don't you? I know you wanna! Don't you wanna go camping?"

"Camping?"

"Yeah man!" Toad exclaimed. "Pietro wants us all to go camping, and so do I, but Lance said no. It's already two against one. If you say yes it'll be three against one."

"Say YES!" Pietro bellowed. "Say yes. Say yes. SAY YES!"

Freddy nodded, "Yeah, I wanna go camping." He turned to Lance. "Why can't we go camping Lance? I wanna go camping Lance."

A large vain was now showing on Lance's forehead. "FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AND ALL THAT IS HOLY, WE ARE NOT GOING CAMPING!" Lance made a face that one would expect to find on a person who had escaped from the metal ward. "DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR!"

"No," said Pietro.

"Nope," said Toad.

"Not really," said Freddy.

A creaking sound was heard from above, and Wanda poked her head out of her window. "What are you idiots doing down there?"

"We want to go camping!" They all cried, minus Lance. "We want to go camping! Camping, camping, camping, camping!" They all began to dance around the front lawn, as the vain throbbed in Lance's forehead.

"WE ARE NOT GOING BLOODY CAMPING, SO WILL YOU ALL JUST SHUT THE HECK UP!" Lance roared. The boys all stared in terror at Lance, their faces pale.

"Oh shut up Lance!" Wanda ordered, leaning her chin on her hand. She looked them over, then spoke again. "Take them to the stupid campsite. Take them so they'll shut up!"

"You're coming too Poopsie! It's a full Brotherhood outing." Toad smiled up at her in, what he imagined to be, a charming fashion.

Wanda turned red. "Toad! What have I told you about pet names?"

"Not to give you any, or die."

"Then listen to me."

"Why, I always do my crimson cutie."

Wanda rubbed her temples. "Sure you do."

Pietro spoke up. "Well, how 'bout it sis? Are you gonna come or not?"

She sighed. "Oh why not? I've got nothing else to do."

"Yes!" Pietro pumped a fist in the air. "Now all we have to do is tell Pyro."

"PYRO!" Wanda yelped. "You're not telling me that that insane Australian is alone in the house? Unsupervised?"

"Uh, yeah." Freddy said.

"Find him. FIND HIM! Before he burns this dump to the ground."

Pietro, toad, and Freddy all took off into the house to find Pyro. They ran into a panicked looking Wanda on the way inside, who joined their search. Soon enough, their fears were realized as the smell of smoke filled their nostrils.

Running toward the kitchen, they bumped into Pyro. "PYRO!" Wanda cried, grabbing his shoulder roughly. "What are you doing in here, you maniac?"

"Hey! Hands off1" He exclaimed, brushing he off and looking offended as he moved over to the toaster, popping his blackened, billowing toast. "What're ya all looking at? I like me toast black."

"Toast?" Wanda said in a strangled voice.

"Oh course Sheila, what did ya think I was doing?" Pyro raised an eyebrow.

"Setting the curtains on fire," said Freddy.

Pyro shrugged. "There aren't any curtains left for me to burn, I got them all already."

"Of curse you did." Wanda muttered. "Of course you did." Then she snorted, "And for the last time you idiot, my name is Wanda. Not Sheila. I don't care if you're Australian and that's what you people call women. Call me Wanda!"

"Whatever Sheila." Pyro replied.

Grabbing Wanda before she could kill Pyro, Pietro said, "Hey Pyro! We all want to go on a Brotherhood camping trip. Are you in?"

"Camping?" Pyro had a funny light in his yes. "You camp in forests. Forests are made of wood. Wood burns ever so well. I'm coming."

"Yes!" Pietro exclaimed, whooping and releasing Wanda, who disappeared up the stairs. "Okay, it's's four..No, five, counting Wanda, against one! We win we're going camping. Haha ha!"

"Yay!" Toad cheered, shaking Pietro's arm. "Let's's go tell Lance that we're going camping! Let's go, let's go!" The four guys ran out of the house in a stampede of happy screams, almost crashing into Lance.

"What are you guys doing?" He exclaimed, throwing out his arms out protect his now spotless jeep. "Be careful, be careful! My baby! Stay away from my baby!"

Pietro grinned, "Lance, I am not at all sorry to inform you that, your baby is going to get very dirty. It's official, we are going camping, and we are taking your jeep. Campgrounds have a lot of dirt my friends, your baby's going to end up filthy."

"For the last time Pietro, we are not going camping." Lance growled.

Toad came hopping up. "Yes we are man. Even sweetums said yes. That means you have no choice. It's five against one. You lose."

Lance groaned. "Why in the name of God do you guys want to go camping?"

"Hot girls!" Pietro cried.

"Bugs." Toad announced with a grin.

"My diet! No stores, no junk food." Freddy admitted looking determined.

"Flammable materials." pyro giggled looking a little happier than he should have.

Lance heaved a sigh and made shooing motions at them "Okay, okay.." He muttered, then had to pause as the other boys erupted into cheers. When they quieted he pointed a finger at them. "But when we get back, You guys have to clean my jeep! Got it?"

Pietro snorted. "I don't clean. Think of what all the chemicals could do to my perfect skin."

Crossing his arms over his chest, Lance shook his head. "Then we don't go. If I don't get assurance that my jeep will be cleaned then my jeep goes nowhere. If my jeep goes nowhere, you go nowhere."

"Ah fine yo." Toad groaned. "If you take us camping, we'll clean your stupid jeep."

"Good." Lance answered, nodding at the,. "Then I suppose I can take you all camping. But we're leaving at 6 AM tomorrow morning. Be up or be left behind."

"Yes Sir!" Toad, Pietro and Pyro all saluted Lance, then the three of them and Freddy ran into the house to pack. Lance slumped against his jeep, shaking his head.

"This is not going to end well. Not at all."

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Well, that's chapter one folks. Hope you all enjoyed it. Do review! 


	2. But I Wanna Sit There!

Klinoa: (Fake sob) I've been abandoned, my partner in crime is not here at the moment. Oh well, what can you do? Here's the next installment of 'Camping with the Brotherhood'.

**DISCLAIMER:** It ain't ours. Never will be either.

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**Chapter 2**

**But I Wanna Sit There!**

It was barely past dawn in the morning, and the softly singing birds had hardly just awoken. On a street where no sounds should have been heard at 5:30 in the morning, there was a surprising racket coming from a Victorian style house on the end.

All of the Brotherhood Boarding House was in a tumbling chaos of flying pillows and Pietro running around in his boxers.

"Pietro, put some pants on..." Lance sighed, shaking his head and rubbing his temples.

"I CAN'T put on some pants!" Pietro cried in a panic, waving his arms frantically. "I can't find my good pants. My HOT pants! MY SEXY PANTS!"

Lance raised an eyebrow at him as he placed a rolled up sleeping bag with a bunch of other packed stuff beside the door. "Your sexy pants, Pietro?" He questioned, turning back to him.

"YES, my sexy pants!" Pietro exclaimed, pulling his silver bed head hair. "My sexy pants! Wah! I cannot- I absolutely CANNOT- go camping without my sexy pants!"

Rolling his eyes, Lance sighed again. It was way to early in the morning for this. The only way to fix this was incredibly embarrassing, and he thanked whatever gods were listening that none of the others were here to see it.

"But Pietro, _ALL_ your pants are sexy pants. You're always saying the _EVERYTHING_ looks great on you." Fearing that he might die of self-disgust right on the spot, Lance waited for a response.

"Oh! Wait!" Pietro exclaimed, looking startled. "You're right! It's ME for God's sake! I look good in everything! Thanks Lance, you're a life saver." He thumped Lance on the back and disappeared up the stairs.

Lance shook his head, picking up two sleeping bags and carrying them out to the jeep.

Meanwhile, in the living room, a war was waging.

"But it's MY pillow! It's the only pillow I have."

"I want it! C'mon mate, ya can borrow one of my pillows!" (1)

"Nooo! I want my pillow!"

Toad and Pyro held the pillow tightly between the two of them, glaring at one another. Toad was clinging to it as though it was his child, and Pyro just looked irritated.

Freddy came lumbering in. "Uh Pyro? Why would you wand Toad's pillow, I mean, it probably has fleas or something."

"It does not!" Toad squawked. "I ate 'em all."

Pyro let go of the pillow, giving it a look of extreme distaste. "I changed my mind. You can have it mate. I don't want anything that critters like to live in."

Entering the room, Lance rolled his eyes, as Toad held the pillow lovingly. He picked up another set of sleeping bags, and carried them out to the jeep to join the others.

Wanda came down the stairs carrying two bags, a sleeping bag, and a pillow. Toad, who noticed her right away, snatched up his own sleeping bag and backpack, and pranced out the door after her.

Pietro soon came downstairs with a huge, overstuffed backpack, and two fluffy pillows. "I'm ready." He announced with a grin. Lance, who had just come back into the house, raised an eyebrow.

"Where do you think we're going, a hotel?" He asked.

"Hey!" Pietro snapped defensively. "For your information, everything in this bag is an absolute necessity! My hair-dryer, my moisturizer, conditioning shampoo, hair gel, bubble bath...Uh Axe deodorant body spray..."

Lance rubbed his temples.

"Pietro, I know you're straight now, but you were a gay man in a past life." With those parting words, he stomped out the door.

Freddy soon followed, with an offended Pietro behind him.

"Okay," said Lance. "Now that we are all here, I will tell you the seating plan."

"I call shotgun!" Pietro screamed.

"No you do not!" Lance snapped. "Wanda gets that one. I'm obviously in the drivers seat. Pyro goes in between the two of us. Freddy goes right behind me, with Toad next to him, and you next to Toad."

"What?" Pietro cried, taken aback. "B-But I called shotgun! I _called _shotgun! If I _called _shot gun, then I _get _shotgun!"

Toad also looked horrified. "I want- I want to sit with my little sugarlump!" He exclaimed.

"Sugarlump?" Lance and Wanda questioned together. Toad then burst into tears, blubbering about how he would die of loneliness in the back seat, and that Lance was condemning him to death.

Pyro stomped a foot angrily. "I don't want to sit in the middle!" He shouted, shaking his fist. "I want to go by a door! I can't breath in the middle, mate! I'll DIE in the middle!"

"I do not care, so all of you just shut up!" Lance barked. Then he turned to look at Freddy. "So...what's your problem?"

Freddy just shrugged his shoulders. "I don't really care where I sit." He answered calmly. "I'm not very picky about that sort of thing."

"Okay." Lance answered wide eyed. He was shocked that Freddy had reacted so well. He had expected him to whine and complain like the other three had.

Meanwhile, Pietro was having a temper tantrum on the ground. "I WANNA RIDE SHOTGUN!" He bellowed. "I NEVER get to ride shotgun! You never let me Lance! Never! You're so mean!"

Wanda snorted. "You idiot, he always let's you ride shotgun."

"Then it's mine by right!" Pietro yelled.

"No it is not." Lance stated. "Freddy has to sit in the back, he won't fit in the front. There are six of us going, so that means there will be three in the front and three in the back."

"But why do I have to be one of the others in the back. With Toad of all people?" Pietro whined.

"Because, moron, you and Toad are the skinniest. It makes sense to have you both in the back. That way we'll all be reasonably comfortable." Lance said with an air of finality.

"You should put Wanda next to Toad. I don't want to be."

Lance snorted. "You may not want to be Pietro, but I don't care."

"But, I'm not skinny, lance." Pietro cried, flexing his arm. "Just look at my muscles. Look, see them! See! Wanda's smaller, put her in the back."

"Pietro, you have the muscle structure of a twig." Lance told him. Pietro looked as if his earth had been shattered to bits. "And you're sitting in the back. That's final."

"You suck!" Pietro snapped. He stomped his feet then kicked the side of the house. They all heard a howl of agony, then there was silence.

Lance turned to look at Wanda. "Just wait." She said. "It'll come."

Then, "I did that on purpose."

Toad, Freddy, and Pyro all burst out in hysterical laughter. It became even worse as Pietro limped back over to them. "Hey yo!" Toad exclaimed, pointing at Pietro. "YOU suck!"

Toad then returned to laughing hysterically. A dark look crossed Pietro's face, and both Pyro and Freddy leapt out of the way as he jumped Toad. The lanky boy shrieked like a banshee as Pietro grabbed him by the hair and smashed him face first into the dirt.

"Die- you- little- greaseball!" Pietro growled, smashing Toad's face into the ground with each word.

At the same time, Toad cried out with each word. "Ow- ow-owwy-ouch!"

Lance quickly ended the fight by grabbing Pietro by the hair and yanking him up.

"OW OUCH OWOWOWOWOW! My hair! You are ruining my hair!" The speed-demon screeched.

Letting go of Pietro, Lance rolled his eyes as the silver-haired boy began finger-combing his hair back into place.

"Alright could we pack up the jeep and get going?" Wanda demanded.

The boys, Pietro whining, and Toad rubbing his head, all nodded and finished loading the jeep.

Wanda moved to the house to lock up, but was stopped by a frantic Pietro. "What is your problem?" She snapped, shoving him off of her.

"Don't lock up yet!" He cried, snatching at the doorknob as Wanda held him off. "Don't lock up yet! I have to go inside, Wanda! Let me in!"

"What do you want to do in there, moron?" Wanda questioned, still fending him away from the door. "Back off! Get away from me, idiot!

"Let me in!" Pietro cried in a whiny tone. "We've gotta call dad to tell him where we're going! Let me in!"

"Why the heck do we have to call him?" Wanda asked, raising an eyebrow at her idiot of a brother. "We're not calling Father, Pietro."

"But Wandaaa!" Pietro whined, prancing on the spot. "What if he comes looking for us? We could get in trouble."

"Oh no!" Wanda mock exclaimed. "In trouble with Father." She snorted. "You idiot. That man has no reason to come here."

"But what if he wants us to go on a mission?" Pietro cried.

Wanda raised her eyebrows at him. "Pietro, exactly how desperate would Father have to be, to send this three ring circus on a mission? We can't even get groceries without something going wrong, let alone go on an actual mission."

"Sue we can Wanda. We're the Brotherhood. We've got talent. We've got brains. We've got style." Pietro said triumphantly.

Wanda sighed. "Not counting myself, no we don't, no we most certainly don't, and no we don't."

Pietro let out a loud snort of protest and crossed his arms across his chest. "Fine then!" He grumbled. "I won't call Father. It'll be your fault when we get in trouble though."

"Oh, I'm so scared." Wanda replied, rolling her eyes. "Just go get in the jeep, you idiot."

Pietro dashed over to the jeep and jumped over the door into shotgun.

As the others began to pile in, the smug young man was lifted into the backseat. Soon, his face had turned into the pouty mug of a child.

"I wanna ride shotgun!" He wailed.

"No!" Five different voices screamed.

Pietro slouched in his seat, grumbling.

Within seconds, Lance, Wanda, Toad, and Freddy were all in their spots as well.

Pyro stood in front of the jeep with his arms crossed over his chest. He was repeatedly trapping his foot on the ground.

Not really wanting to know the answer, Lance asked. "And what is your problem Pyro?"

"I am not getting in that jeep until I'm allowed to ride somewhere other than the middle!" He announced looking determined.

As determined as he was, he couldn't defend against the three people that carried him over to the jeep and stuffed him inside.

"If I have to sit back here, then you have to sit up there." Pietro griped vengefully from the backseat.

"I will not sit her!" Pyro shouted. "I refuse to be trapped in this cramped space. You cannot- Hey! There's a lighter up here!" The insane Aussie gave a wild cackle. "Alright. I can sit here."

"It's not fair!" Pietro wailed. "Now everyone's happy with their seats, except for me."

"I'm not happy, Pietro." Toad piped up.

"You don't count." Pietro replied.

"Oh..." Toad pouted hurtfully.

"Okay, both of you just shut up." Lance ordered, turning the ignition. The jeep rumbled to life, and Lance switched gears. No more than to seconds later, they were on the move and heading for camp.

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And the insanity begins! What fun. Stay tuned for the next part, and see if the boys drive Lance even further over the edge.

(1) Please try and ignore our horrible Australian accent. We know it's terrible, and we apologize.

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**Shout-outs**

**Chrissy:** We're glad that you're enjoying things so far. Just wait, their camping experience will be one of a kind.

**Realtfarraige:** No, camping never will be the same again. Not once the Brotherhood give it a try. Stay tuned for more crazy moments. This story is going to be filled with them.


	3. Are We There Yet?

Whoa! Extremely late update. To anyone who's still reading this fic we send you huge apologies. We never meant for this story to go so long without being updated.

**DISCLAIMER:** We still own nothing.

**Chapter 3**

**Are We There Yet?**

Pietro shifted uncomfortably against the side of the jeep, mumbling to himself under his breath. Todd looked utterly bored out of his mind in the middle of the back seat.

John had pulled out the lighter and was playing with the flame, while Lance glanced nervously over at him from the left. Then, to make things worse, he reached for the radio and flicked it onto the country music station.

"Oh for the love of me! Somebody stop him!" Screamed Pietro. "This is cruel and unusual torture. I've been robbed of shot gun, stuff in the back with a roll of fat and a frog, and now I'm being forced to listen to hillbilly music. The world as we know it is ending."

Lance gripped the steering wheel tightly. "This isn't my life. This cannot possibly be my life."

"Turn that horrible noise off, Pyro!" Shrieked Pietro.

"No, leave it on." Wanda sais.

"What?" Pietro yelped. "Why're you siding with him Wanda?"

She snorted. "Because it's annoying you, dumbass."

"No!" Pietro cried, jamming his index fingers into his ears. "I can't stand it. I CAN'T STAND IT!"

"It's not too bad.." Todd said quietly, shrugging. Pietro glance him a terrified glance, and then hid his face.

"I know longer know either you or Pyro!" Pietro announced loudly so that both of them would be sure to hear. "You're boycotted! And disowned! And dumped on your asses!"

"Dumped?" Lance questioned, looking at him in the rearview mirror. "Do you three have some kind of secret relationship going on that we don't know about?"

"Well, obviously if it's a secret you don't know about it." Pietro said in a snippy tone. :And no, we do not have a secret relationship!"

Pyro put on a hurt face, "You mean, you don't want us anymore speedy? My heart is broken!"

He then proceeded to fake cry in a very bad and frightening manner.

"Look what you've done now, Pietro." Wanda glared at her brother. "You idiot. You've got him going."

"Oh woe is me!" Pyro shrieked loudly, pretending to bawl. "I loved you Pietro Maximoff, and you betrayed me! Now Toad and I are left to pick up the pieces."

Toad, picking up where Pyro left off, grabbed Pietro in a clingy hug. "Pietro, please don't leave us! We love you darling! Let's kiss and make up!"

"Ahh!" Pietro screamed as he tried to push Toad off of him. "No! Save me! Waah! I want to go home!"

"Oh no you don't!" Lance snapped. 'You're the one who began this fiasco, and you're going to finish it. Get it?"

"Yeah..."

"Got it?"

"Yeah.."

"Good!" Lance grinned and continued to drive. After a few moments, he reached over and changed the channel to rock.

"No!" Pyro screamed. "My music! Give me back my MUSIC!"

"Turn it back Lance!" Wanda shouted. "I refuse to listen to that racket, and I'm not talking about Pyro."

Grumbling, Lance switched it back. The first strands of Garth Brooks 'Standing Outside the Fire' began playing.

Pyro grinned. "Now this is a song."

"That's because you're gay!" A disgruntled Pietro hollered from the back seat. "You have no taste in music, you tone deaf weirdo!"

"I'm not tone deaf." Pyro growled, shaking a fist at Pietro. "Don't make me singe your eyebrows off, blondie."

"I am not blonde!"

"Blondie, Blondie, Blondie!"

"Shut up!"

"You shut up, Pietro!" Wanda shouted. "Or I might just let him carry out his eyebrow threat."

"You wouldn't!"

"Yes I would!"

"That's not fair."

"And that matters why?"

"You are like the worst twin sister ever!"

"To bad for you, I'm the only one you have."

"Do you still think this was such a brilliant idea, Pietro?" Lance asked form the front.

"Well, I admit, it isn't exactly going as planned. My vision of it was much better."

"And what exactly was your _vision _Pietro?" Toad asked, somewhat sarcastically.

"Why, I saw myself on the beach surrounded by beautiful girls. You guys were somewhere in the background."

"It sounds wonderful." Wanda drawled, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

Lance shook his head. "That's something along the lines of what I thought his vision was." He said to Wanda. "We should have known."

"You're kind of a pervert, y'know mate." Pyro said, leaning back on Wanda's seat. "I don't know why girls even like you. They should like me."

"You?" Lance asked in a surprised tone of voice. "Why would any girl like you?" The other guys snickered, but Pyro looked confident.

"Because!' He exclaimed proudly. "For one, I'm damn sexy! Also, I'm sweet and romantic...not to mention sensitive!"

"Sensitive?" Toad exclaimed in shock. "You're not sensitive man, you're downright mean."

"Mean? Mean I don't have a mean bone in my body!" Pyro protested. He sighed as he got skeptical looks from the others. "Okay, maybe I'm a tad mean, but I'm only mean to men, never sheilas!"

"That's true actually." Wanda remarked thoughtfully. "He's never given me any trouble. My curtains are still intact. Huh, you guys suck. I'm the only one who'll never have to worry about him torching my room."

"Why of course not." Pyro exclaimed. "I'd never do anything like that. I'm a real gentleman at heart, eh mates?"

There was a loud chorus of "No" from the other boys.

"Well, whether you believe it or not, I am." He announced. "So you can keep thinking whatever you want, but you'll be sorry when I've got all the girls."

Wanda shook her head. "I like you more than the others, but believe me, you're living in a dream world. Your insanity happens to be a turn off to most girls."

"If only they would look past the insanity, they would find a sweet gooey, sensitive center." Pyro said dreamily. "I'm every girls fantasy."

"I'm sure you are." Wanda said.

Lance grinned. "Wanda, are you flirting with Pyro?"

Wanda grinned back. "Lance, do you want to walk with a limp for the rest of your life?"

Staring straight in front of him, Lance said. "I saw nothing. I heard nothing. I know nothing."

"That's for sure," snapped a sulky Pietro.

Toad on the other hand looked rather worried. "Wanda? Sweetums? My beautiful red rose? You don't like Pyro over me do you? Do you? Oh you can't! Please say that you don't!"

Wanda stayed facing straight ahead of her, but both Lance and Pyro could see the growing grin on her face. "Hmm...well, I'm not sure, Toad." she said thoughtfully, tapping her cheek. "I think I just may like him a bit more than I like you."

Toad's lower lip trembled, and he let out a loud squeal. "Oh no!" He cried mournfully. "My sugar lips" My crimson butterfly! Waah!"

Wanda grinned as toad exploded into tears and random gibberish in the back seat. Her day had been made.

"That wasn't very nice, you know." Pyro remarked.

Wanda shrugged nonchalantly. "Hey, you're not the only one with a few mean bones in their body."

Behind them, Toad let out a loud wail.

"Would someone please make him stop that?" Freddy cried.

"Ugh. The little frogboy is touching me!" Pietro yelped.

"Oh man. Lance, are we there yet? I can't take any more of this." Freddy sounded pretty close to tears himself.

Suddenly, Toad stopped crying. "I have to go to the bathroom!" He bellowed.

"He's touching me!"

"Are we there yet?"

"I have to go to the bathroom!"

"He's touching me!"

"Are we there yet?"

"I have to go to the bathroom!"

"Will you all just shut up?" Lance snarled through clenched teeth. He swerved the steering wheel turning the jeep on a fork in the road.

"But I have to go to the bathroom." Toad whimpered, squirming in his seat.

"Tell him to stop touching me!" Pietro whined.

"I can't help it! I'm squished back here." Toad snapped.

"Are we there yet?" Freddy asked again.

"Uh Lance?" Wanda asked. "Where exactly are you going? This is the wrong way."

"We are taking a shortcut," said Lance. "That way, we'll get there sooner. The sooner we get there, the sooner the three stooges back there will shut up."

"Are you sure that you know where you're goin' mate?" The look on Pyro's face suggested that he didn't think so.

"Of course I know!" Lance barked, shutting them all up. "Do any of you know how to drive? Huh? HUH?"

Everyone shook their heads, and he nodded. "Exactly!" He exclaimed. "When you all get your licences THEN you can tell me how to drive. Until then, just shut up!"

Wanda shook her head. She had a bad feeling about Lance's 'shortcut', but she wasn't going to get him madder than he already was.

They all exchanged fleeting glances as Lance continued to drive. All of them fell silent for several moments, and then...

"I _really _have to go to the bathroom!"

Ah yes, the traditional 'Are we there yet?' scene. Every camping trip should have one. Ours always do. Stay tuned for the next part where we see just how badly Lance's 'shortcut' will turn out.

**Shout-outs**

**Red Witch:** The gang will cause tons of mayhem. Some of it factual, some of it not. We hope that you're still reading.

**Realtfarraige: **Thanks for the review, we hope that you're still with us.

**childrenwithblades: **Yeah, we made Pietro straight, prissy though he may be. Thanks for the compliments on our story.


	4. I'm Not Lost!

**Author's Note**: Yata! Guess who this is, people? Chiharu Nekama! Hurray, right! I_finally_ got to put something up in this fic! Aren't you all proud? So, since you all waited so patiently for Chapter Four, I will tell you a fun story beforehand... Oh yeah, and soon some events will start to be based upon our own crazy camping exploits (of which we are going on one of tomorrow, actually). It'll mention in the final comments on each chapter what events are true to life.

_EARLIER TODAY_...

Chi: Doo dee doo... making a sandwich and talking on the phone with Klinoa and Tiger pulls out sandwich meat, lettuce, bread, tomato, mayonnaise and a wide strip of leftover barbequed chicken Mmm... I wonder who made the chicken? I don't remember having chicken... thinks Well, maybe I was at Draven's house that day...

Klinoa: What are you doing?

Chi: Making a sandwich.

Tiger: Are you always eating!

Chi: No... Of course not! laughs sheepishly

Klinoa and Tiger: sigh heavily

Chi: goes about making her sandwich finally sits down and takes a bite of it O.o BLECH!

Klinoa: What?

Tiger: The hell!

Chi: Argh! The chicken!

Turns out my sandwich was made of a sliced, grilled potato that was trying to pass itself off as a slice of chicken breast. Pretty raunchy, people. Never, ever, mix potato and sandwich. Potato definitely doesn't taste good in a sandwich, and I am probably the least picky person on the planet. You have been warned, so don't ever forget the lesson that I learned the hard way from thet fugitive potato. Scary stuff.

**Disclaimer**: We are the owner's of zilch, nada, nothing... Well, I own a dog, and lots of how to draw books, and a fox stuffie named Naruto, and... You get the point. X-Men Evolution isn't ours and, to our dismay, probably never will be. Sad, I know.

* * *

**Chapter Four**

**I'm Not Lost**!

Another two hours into the trip and they were still driving. However, even Lance now appeared to doubt the route the dark haired boy had taken. And, to make things worse, almost everyone in the Jeep was grumbling and complaining.

"I'm hungry!" Pietro moaned, grimacing and sinking low in his seat, arms wrapped around his stomach. "Can we stop and get something to eat, Lance?"

"No, we can't." Lance answered, grinding his teeth. "We absolutely, positively cannot stop and get something to eat! And stop asking me, Shithead!"Pietro pouted in the backseat, rubbing his gut as it gave a grumbling snarl.

"But I'm sooo hungry!" Pietro howled, leaning back and squeezing his eyes tightly shut as if trying to seem as though he was suffering. "I'm going to shrivel up and die... You'll have to scrape my decimated corpse off of this seat!"

"We should be so lucky." Wanda growled.

"Somebody hit him!" Lance snapped.

"Freddy happily obliged. Leaning over Toad, he backhanded Pietro across the face, causing the silver-haired annoyance to fall promptly unconscious.

"Oops... I honestly didn't mean to do that."

"Don't worry about it." Wanda said. "Even if you did, nobody would've blamed you."

"Here here!" Shouted Pyro.

"Hey, yo, why can't we stop for a minute?" Toad questioned, scratching his cheek. The rest of them gave him warning looks. "WHAAAT? I'm hungry too!"

"Don't you start! I'm not gunna put up with this for much longer!" Lance growled. "If one of you mentions food OR stopping the Jeep one more time, I'm turning the Jeep around and heading home!"

"Yes Mom..." pyro muttered, crossing his arms and tilting back his head. Lance gave him a harsh glare, and John glanced over. He gave a yawn and turned his head away from him, a smirk spreading across his face.

"You are _pushing_ it, firebug." Lance growled.

"Pushing what?" Pyro inquired innocently.

"Don't get smart with me! "Lance snapped.

"He can't, Lance." Said Wanda. "He doesn't _know_ how to be smart."

"That hurt, Sheila." Pyro said, trembling his lower lip.

"I'm sure it didn't." She replied.

"It did! My heart aches with the pain you have inflicted upon me!" He cried, clutching the area over his heart and convulsing with fake spasms of pain. "Argh!"

"Will you cut it out, you jackass?You're gunna make me drive us right off the road!" Lance snarled, swatting at Pyro with one hand and staring intently past the windshield.

"Why would it matter?" Toad called from the back. "You've gotten us so lost, it wouldn't make it any worse!"

"If I hear one more crack about us being lost, you are all going to get out and walk!" Lance said viciously.

"We'd probably get there faster..." Toad grumbled under his breath.

"Okay, that's it!" Lance shouted. He slammed his foot on the break, jerking everyone else forward as the Jeep skidded to a stop and shut off the engine. "I hate you people!"

"You're just angry because you know we're right, mate." Pyro stated.

After a few moments of silence, Lace started the vehicle again. "Okay, I give up. I'll turn around and head back, but not because I think I'm wrong." He announced loudly. "I'm doing this to shut you morons up!"

"By head back you mean...?" Toad questioned worriedly. Lance tried to ignore the feeling of the small boys brown eyes boring into the back of his head, but eventually gave in to the frog-boy's half question.

"No, I don't mean that we're going home; I mean that we're going to turn back and try going the other way, okay?" Lance then continued to stare intently through the windshield. Pyro tapped his foot to the twang of his country music, tilting his head back and watching the clouds above them.

"Good. Because, as you know, I would be very, very offended if you decided to go home!" Pietro announced matter-of-fatly from the backseat, where he appeared to have not only awakened but now had himself pressed against the door to avoid touching Toad. "And you all know how I get when I'm offended!"

"Whiny?" Wanda asked sweetly, looking back at him.

"A crybaby?" Pyro added, grinning as he continued to stare up at the sky.

"No!" Pietro exclaimed, peeling himself from the door and waving his hands in protest. "The _real_ way I get, you guys, not the way you _imagine_ that I get! I get evil." There was a demonic glint in his eyes. A demonic glint that faded rapidly as Wanda burst into hysterical laughter, followed closely by the rest of the boys.

"You? Evil?" Wanda held her abdomen as though her sides would burst if she let go. "You are an _idiot_, Pietro, but you could _never_ be evil!"

Pietro stuck out his lower lip in what he imagined to be a defiant gesture. In reality, it made him look like a pouting toddler.

"I can SO be evil!"

"No, Pietro," Lance said with a laugh. "Your _father_ can be evil. Your _sister_ can be evil. However, _you_ can not be evil."

"Yeah, Pietro!" Toad piped up. "You're like the little 'yes-guy" in the old gangster movies. You know, the ones who think they're all that, but only until the big boss shows up. then you turn into a coward."

"I think that's the smartest thing I've ever heard you say, Toad." Wanda said, surprised, from her position in the front.

"It was not!" Pietro yelped indignantly. "he's never been more wrong."

"Okay then, why don't you prove it?" Pyro challenged, looking around at the other boy. "Try to, I dare you. Prove that you're not the 'yes-man', Pietro."

"But I'm _not_ the 'yes-guy'! I'm not like that at all!" Pietro wailed, shaking his head vigorously. He grabbed the back of Wanda's seat and pulled himself forward, fighting against the seatbelt to move closer to the front. "Why are you always so mean to me!"

"Pietro!" Lance barked, grinding his teeth again. "If you don't stop whining in my ear, I'm going to stop this Jeep , dump you on the side of the road and _leave_ you there! Do you understand me?"

"Yessir!" Pietro shrank into the backseat, crossing his arms tightly across his narrow chest and pouting. Pyro burst out laughing and turned to look at the silver-haired male once again.

"Oh man, you suck!" Pyro laughed, staring at him and then chuckling softly. "You just proved that you're the 'yes-man', moron!" The rest of his companions joined him in a great laugh at Pietro's expense.

"Taunt me all you want!" Pietro bellowed, "But I will have the last laugh. I will be victorious! None of you will be able to defeat me. I shall be the ultimate winner!"

As he was ranting, Pietro once again began to pull himself forward, pushing against his seatbelt.

Rolling her eyes, Wanda reached down by her feet and picked up the window scraper which had been in the Jeep since the previous winter. Growling, she swung the scraper and nailed Pietro right between the eyes with it.

He fell back with a wail, and was soon shreiking about his 'destroyed complexion'. "Pietro!" Wanda snapped. "If you don't shut the hell up, I'll hit you again!"

Lance sighed with relief as silence fell over the back seat."Thanks, Wanda." He smiled. "You just saved my life with that move."

"You shut up too, Lance." Wanda gave him a dirty look. "That whole tirade was your fault. he wouldn't have started if you hadn't gotten us lost in the first place."

"Hey! It's not like I did it on purpose! I'm sure that I turned around and said, 'Yeah, I'm gunna get us lost!', since I always do things like that..." Lance said sarcastically, rolling his eyes as he continued down the road.

"Hey yo, you probably would!" Toad piped up, shaking his head. "You're just mean enough to do it, too!"

Lance growled deep in his throat, glaring at Toad's small frame in the rearview mirror. "You want to take me up on that, grease ball!"

"N- No... That's fine..." Toad said sweetly, then fell silent.

"It doesn't matter anyway," Lance muttered. "Because we are not lost."

"Well, if we're not lost, then would you please enlighten me on what exactly we _are_?" Wanda demanded.

"We're mutants, Sugarlump." Toad answered, sounding a bit worried. "You knew that, Honeybee."

Wanda massaged her temples. "I meant what are we as in regard to what we are if we're not lost."

"We are strategically misplaced." Lance informed her.

"Ah, I see..." Wanda said, glaring at him. "Interesting. It annoys me that you pretend to be so cool when you've gotten us lost somewhere in the middle of nowhere." She gave him a look of contempt, then looked away out the window.

"Are you okay, Poopsie-woo?" Toad said quietly, _lovingly_, as he gave the back of Wanda's head puppy-dog eyes. "Oh, don't let mean old Lance hurt your feelings, Bunny-muffins!"

"What's a poopsie-woo?" Pietro asked Freddy, holding a conversation with him over Toad's head. Freddy shrugged, looking no more able to understand Toad's language of pet-names than Pietro himself.

"I dunno, Pietro. don't know what a 'bunny-muffin' is either." Freddy answered.

"I'll tell you what it is." Wanda growled. "It's Toad's ticket to a broken neck."

"But, Snuggle-lumps, I thought you liked your pet-names!"

"Are you stupid?" Wanda demanded, then she sighed. "Oh, who am I kidding. Of course you are!"

"Yes, I'm stupid, Wanda... Stupid in love!" Wanda scooted closer to the door as Toad reached for her from the backseat. He looked like a disturbing fish as he puckered up his lips in a kiss-face!"

"No, you're stupid in general!" She exclaimed, trying to sho him away. "Ugh! Will you stop it, you slime ball?" Pietro chuckled in the backseat.

"I hope he kisses you right on the face with his big, greasy lips!" He cried spitefully, grinning as Wanda shuddered in disgust. "You'd deserve it, you mean, mean girl!"

Wanda glared at Pietro, looking furious. "Shut up, Pietro, and stop supporting his futile efforts to seduce me!" Pyro crossed his arms behind his head, looking quite relaxed amid the chaos.

And chaos it was. Toad was still attempting to kiss Wanda, while Pietro and Wanda were screaming death threats at each other. Lance was grinding his teeth audibly now, and Freddy had set up a loud cry for food.

Pyro sighed. "Lance, mate, look at what you've done to us!"

"I haven't done anything!" Lance bellowed. "This is all Pietro's fault! If he hadn't come up with the _brilliant_ idea to go on a camping trip, we would not be in this mess. And the rest of you are almost as guilty because _you all_ supported him!"

"Hey!" Pietro yelled, forgetting Wanda for the moment. "I'm not the one who decided to go on a joyride down a useless road!"

Suddenly Toad jumped up with a cry. "There's a sign for the town our campground's in! Lance! Go that way, yo!"

Lance did so, and turned to them all with a triumphant smirk. "I told you I wasn't lost."

Wanda sighed heavily, only slightly relieved by the appearance of the sign. "I wonder what else will go wrong before we get there?" She wondered aloud.

"Why, not a thing, Wanda!" Pietro sang with a grin. "It's gunna be smooth sailing from here on in!"

* * *

Well, that Chapter was fun. The next will be coming soon. 

**Shout-outs**:

First of all, thanks to everyone who reviewed from Chiharu! I didn't get to say it yet, but domo arigatou gozaimasu! I really appreciate all your great reviews; they're really uplifting!

**Stan Lee's Nightmares**: Hey! We liked the thought of Pyro singing country music, so stay tuned for Chapter six, where you'll see the fruition of your idea. It won't be really long, but you'll see it there.

**RogueFanKC**: Klinoa said for me to say that she's read your stuff, and that she really likes it. I'll be sure to follow suite, and review. P.S. I like that chapter too. It was fun to write.

**RedWitch**: Klinoa didn't mention it, but she really loves your stories, and she was really excited when she had seen your review. It was cute. P.S. I'm gunna get beaten up for that, but I thought that you ought to know.


	5. Don't Mention Liquids!

**Author's Note**

K: Dude! We're both actually here at the same time!

C: PWNED! Aren't you pleased? Elated! ECSTATIC?

K: Probably not. We're to weird for people to be ecstatic over.

C: Oh? Well, now I'm just offended. Just like I'm offended about Severus Snape!

K: Hey! No giving away details. People may not have read the book. Spoilers are bad!

C: Unless there's a warning! And I'm not giving anything away, I just really want to kick him so hard in the butt, so that he flies face first into the moon, y'know? Like how Suazo from the Monster Rancher games did in the opening video...

K: O-okay, and we are ending this A/N now. It's time for us to get started, or rather, it's time for me to get started, seeing as I'm the one who's doing the typing this time.

C: Hey, you're not the only one! And I'm drawing, so I have an excuse. nn

K: Indeed. On with the show!

C: Once again, PWNED! Enjoy yeselves, people!

K: (Rolls eyes.)

**DISCLAIMER:** Having read our author's notes, do you really think that we have the mental capacity to own something as big as X-Men? Do you really... ? I thought not.

**

* * *

**

**Chapter 5**

**Don't Mention Liquids**

"Smooth sailing huh, Pietro?"

Wanda had her arms crosses tightly over her chest, and was glaring intensely past the windshield. Pietro shrugged, smiling sheepishly, and ran a finger down the side of his door. "Hey, it _would _have been smooth sailing...But the stupid worker people decided otherwise!"

Lance sighed, leaning his forehead against the steering wheel. Pietro's dream had become Lance's nightmare. Not only was he trapped in the jeep with the Brotherhood idiots, but now the jeep was stuck in traffic. (1)

"Who would've known that we would have gotten stuck in traffic in the middle of the woods?" Toad laughed from the back seat, smacking his knee. "It's crazy, yo!"

Freddy shifted uncomfortably in the back seat, chewing his plump bottom lip. "I still need to pee." He said unhappily wringing his hands. "I hope this hurries up."

Toad shifted in his seat too. "Don't talk about pee, or piss, or any liquid, yo! I need to go to the bathroom ten times more than you do!"

Not to be outdone, Pietro lurched foward and bellowed. "Well I've got to go to the bathroom a million times more than either of you!"

"Well none of that matters now, does it you idiots?" Wanda growled, looking severely ticked off. "And do you know why none of this matters?"

"Because we're stuck in the middle of a road construction zone?" Pyro wondered.

"Exactly!" Wanda snapped. "We are trapped in a construction zone, on a dirt road, in the middle of nowhere, with no bathrooms in sight!" (2)

"Umm.. Sheila?" Pyro spoke up nervously. "I might be going out on a limb here, but...do you have to go to the bathroom?"

"Yes, I have to go to the bathroom!" Wanda snapped. "We've been in this vehicle since six o'clock in the morning, and we've all had plenty to drink since then."

"Oh sweetums." Toad moaned. "Please don't mention liquids. I really have to go to the bathroom!"

"Me too!" Pietro wailed.

"And me!" Freddy yelled.

"Mates, we need to find a dunnys!" Pyro shouted.

"What the heck is a dunnys?" Wanda demanded.

"It's what Australians call bathrooms." Toad informed her. "Haven't you ever seen Kangaroo Jack?"

"Well it was on T.v. a little while ago." Pietro said. "We all watched it."

"Do I care, Pietro!" Wanda exclaimed, throwing up her hands in exasperation. "Do I? No, no I do not! You are such a jackass!" She crossed her arms again and fumed in the front seat.

"You should!" Pietro said defensively.

Pyro started laughing, leaning back and surveying Wanda's infuriated expression. "Oh, Sheila, don't tell me you're in a bad mood just because you need to piss..." He smirked pleasantly.

In one swift movement, Wanda made a fist and smashed Pyro in the shoulder. He gave a yelp, gritting his teeth and grabbing the attacked area. "Gah!" He shouted. "What the hell was that for, Sheila!"

"Never insult a woman who can't get to a toilet!" Wanda bellowed.

"But you're not a woman!" Pietro pointed out with a smirk.

"Kill him!" Wanda ordered the boys in the back.

"Wanda, is it that time of the month by any chance?" Lance inquired.

"Lance," Wanda growled. "I want you to know that if you weren't driving, you would be dead."

"Well Sheila, if you had your way, we'd all be dead!" Pyro said matter-of-factly, brushing back his hair. Wanda glared at him, but he pretended not to notice.

"Oh my poor red tulip!" Toad cried, looking on the verge of tears. "Hurry, Lance, we have to go! Can't you see that my baby's in agony!"

A tiny muscle twitched in the corner of Wanda's mouth.

"Do not call me that!" She bellowed. "I don't know how many times I have to tell you this I hate you! I despise you! I loathe you entirely! I will never have any form of a romantic relationship with you!"

"Oh sweetums." Toad said sadly.

_Here it comes, _she thought happily.

"I know that you wouldn't say those things if you didn't need to use the bathroom so badly. It's okay, I forgive you."

_Or not._

For the first times in years, Wanda felt the urge to burst out in tears, She was hungry, cramped, Toad wasn't heart-broken, and she really had to go to the bathroom.

As Wanda neglected to snap back, hit Toad, or find a way to blow up Toad, an uncomfortable silence overtook the jeep. Even the slimy boy who sat beside Pietro did not speak up to pout or otherwise. This strange and awkward silence lasted for several minutes.

"Argh!" Lance groaned. "This sucks. All this talk of drinks and crap has made me really need to use the bathroom. I hate you people!"

"Shut up Lance!" Pietro barked. "I don't want to hear anything from you because this is all your fault."

"Pietro! This isn't my fault, it's your fault, and I'm going to kick your ass if you don't admit it!"

"Well, I am going to kick both your asses if you don't quit it with this stupid argument." Wanda snarled. "It's both your faults! End of story!"

"Whatever. I don't care!" Lance announced, fiddling with his seatbelt. Then he threw off the belt, opened his door, and stormed out of the jeep."

"Lance! Lance, come back!" Toad yelled after him, trying to see over Freddy and Pietro. "Yo! What are you doing?" Lance however, left Toad's calls unanswered as he disappeared into the woods.

The silence this time was completely different that the silence from before. This was tense, worried silence, which was finally broken by Pietro. "Is..Is he gone?"

"It certainly looks like it." Wanda's snapped. "Now look at what you idiots managed to do! We've lost our driver, we're in the middle of nowhere, and we all nee to pee. I'd like to take this opportunity to remind the four of you of how much I despise you."

"I'll make a note of it at the next club meeting." Pietro said sarcastically.

"Since when do we have club meetings?" Freddy asked.

"We don't Fred." Lance said, rolling his eyes. He'd seemingly reappeared out of nowhere.

"Lance!" Toad screamed joyfully. "You came back, yo!"

"Duh." Lance rolled his eyes again. "All your whining made me realize that I had to use the bathroom, so I went and found a tree." (3)

Pietro's eye began to twitch. "You went to the bathroom, and left the rest of us to suffer? How dare you?" He bellowed.

"Yes, I did." Lance snapped. "If you want, you can do the same thing."

"I will not!" Pietro shouted. "The very idea of it, peeing in the woods. Huh! It's disgusting."

"Pietro, we are trapped on a dirt road. A tree makes the perfect toilet. " Lance said.

"What kind of twisted world are you living in, Lance?" Pietro demanded.

"Hey! I _really _need to pee! I don't care if it's a tree or a porcelain bowl, yo! If I can pee on it, I'll pee on it!" Toad exclaimed as he, Freddy and Pyro hurriedly unbuckled their seatbelts.

"Oh, never mind." Lance said, clipping himself in and putting his hands on the wheel. "Traffic's moving, so we have to move. Sorry, guys." With that, Lance stepped on the gas, and once again they were on their way down the dirt road.

It was ten, maybe fifteen, minutes before they actually found anywhere with a restroom. They had finally made it to a paved road when, up ahead, on the corner of their road and the one perpendicular to it, there appeared an image sent from the heavens.

A gas station. (4)

The back seat of the Jeep suddenly exploded with cheers and shouts of 'A bathroom!'. Pyro, from the front, took about two seconds to join the shouting.

Even Wanda was overjoyed at the sight of such a glorious object that she didn't even yell at them about their screaming. In fact, she clapped her hands a little as they drove into the parking lot.

"Okay, you guys." Lance said. "Let's try and make this quick, all right...? Guys?" Lance had turned around to see that he was talking to empty space. The other five had scrambled from the Jeep and were rushing toward the bathrooms.

"Huh." Lance snorted. "They really did need to piss."

Meanwhile, inside the gas station, a young female attendant was staring at the boys and Wanda as they all piled inside and rushed to the bathroom.

Her eyes widened as they crowded into the small bathroom hallway. Wanda barged through the boys, pushed into the ladies bathroom and slammed the door behind her. Even without his powers, Pietro was the first into the men's bathroom. As the door shut and locked behind him, a high-pitched and very feminine scream filled the whole building. Pyro jumped to the door and gave a loud knock on it, "Hey, mate! You okay in there?"

"It's so... So... So _dirty_!" He shrieked from inside, his voice slightly muffled by the restroom door. " I have never seen anything so unhygienic in my entire life! Well, besides Toad's room... But this is damn close!"

"Hey, yo!" Toad yelled from where he had been pushed to the back of the line. "Quit comparin' my room to a public washroom!" The girl at the counter shifted her gaze away from the restroom hallway, pretending she had somehow completely missed everything that had just happened.

It was about then that Pietro came flouncing out of the bathroom, running his fingers through his hair and looking extremely happy. "Ah, so refreshing!" He drawled. "Well, time to go buy a popsicle..."

As Pietro strolled past, Freddy managed to make it into the bathroom next, leaving Pyro and Toad doing the potty-dance in the corridor. Pietro got himself a popsicle from the ice cream freezer and strode over to the counter. Leaning on the glass top, he began to chat with the attendant.

Toad pranced where he stood. "Uh-oh! Hey, yo! I think I'm gunna piss my pants!" He shouted, crossing his legs and grimacing. "Hurry it up in there, will ya?"

After a few moments, Freddy left the bathroom and, trying to suck in his enormous gut as he squeezed past them, made his way away from the restrooms. His face turned agonized as he tried to ignore the shelves of junk food that lay spread before him. His struggle was obvious but, after a few moments, he managed to drag himself out to join Lance, who was already tapping his foot impatiently.

As soon as Freddy pushed past them, Pyro dove into the restroom, nearly taking the door off it's hinges. Toad was then left to prance and whimper all alone. Wanda exited the women's bathroom in time to hear the Aussie's scream of, "OH, THE RELIEF!" (5)

Looking at the bathroom door with an eyebrow raised, Wanda shook her head, stalking off into the store section of the building. She was, apparently, trying to ignore what she had just heard. Toad knew that, if he didn't do something about his bladder in the next twenty seconds, there was going to be a large yellow puddle on the floor.

Raising his gaze to the women's restroom doorway, he knew exactly what had to be done. Taking a deep breath, he dove into the girls washroom.

"Toad!" Wanda snapped. "That room is for women!"

"I'm sorry, Poopsie!" Toad replied from inside the bathroom. "I couldn't wait any longer!"

"Idiot." Wanda muttered under his breath.

"Umm... Is everything okay over here?" The attendant that Pietro had been bothering had come over, a worried expression adorning her face. (6)

Just then, the red-haired boy who had been squealing earlier made his way out of the bathroom. Pulling the door shut behind him and turning around, Pyro examined the sign hung on the door. "I don't know what Pietro was babbling about the bathroom being filthy. It was tidy and it smelled like flowers. Weird..." He squinted at the sign on the door.

"Ah, I see why!" He cried, the sound of his voice strangely similar to someone who had discovered the cure to a deadly disease. "It says here that there is an automated system inside which releases a burst of air-freshener every fifteen minutes... How technologic!" (7)

As Pyro and Wanda passed by the cashier, who was now rubbing her temples, Wanda quirked an eyebrow at him. "Technologic?" She questioned. "Don't you mean 'technological'?"

Pyro shook his head airily. "No I don't, Sheila. Trust me, I'm an author. I know about these things."

Wanda decided not to comment. Pyro's 'gothic romance novels' were a forbidden subject among the other Brotherhood members. No one wanted to discuss them.

At this point, Toad came hopping out of the female bathroom, earning a bewildered look from the attendant. "I'm done, guys!" He cried happily. "Let's get back on the road!"

Everyone piled back into the Jeep. The group was soon on their way again.

About five minutes later, Toad gave a joyful squeak. "There's a sign for our campground! It's just two kilometers down that road!"

The group breathed a collective sigh of relief. The nightmarish ride was almost over. Hopefully the rest of their trip would be mush better.

_Hopefully_.

* * *

(1) This is where we start getting into the fact based stuff folks. In this case, Chiharu's father took a short-cut down a dirt road and ran right into road construction. That's right, on a DIRT road, of all things.

(2) And of course, all six of the people in the van needed to use the bathroom.

(3) Chiharu's dad pulled this stunt, and of course, no one else got to use the bathroom at this point. The agony continued.

(4) Also true.

(5) This was originally screamed by a ten year old boy, but, hey, what's the difference between Pyro and a ten year old. Mentally anyway.

(6) This also happened. The poor woman was probably scared out of her mind.

(7) Chi actually read this on a sign in that gas station, and then she went back a year later to read it again because she forgot what it said and wanted to put it in the story.

Ah, what fun this chapter has been. Hopefully we'll be back soon with the next chapter.

**

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**

**Shout-outs**

**Realtfarraige: **

K: Yey! Our most loyal reviewer is back!

C: We'll make you a crown! And I'll draw a picture of you being knighted by the ladies of E.R.o.D.!

K: Why would you do that? You don't know what they look like.

C: I don't care! If they give me a description (hint, hint), I can do it! Then I'll post it on Deviantart!

K: Oh brother.

**RogueFanKC:**

K: I did indeed read that story, and many of your other ones as well. I'm just a little lazy when it comes to reviewing.

C: I just haven't read it, but that's only because I don't have internet access! If I did, then I would read it, and give the greatest review of all time!

K: Show off!

C: Bite me bum! Anyway, thanks for the review. It was fun! Sadly, we can't include the X-Men.

K: Except for a tiny cameo by Kitty.

C: Yeah, we already have the entire plot, well... Plotted. Nn It was a really good idea though, so thankies!

K: We really should end this shout-out here.

C: It _is _getting kind of long...

K: Oh! Oh! Wait, wait! I need to say something to RogueFan!

C: And what would that be?

K: I so totally support the Stormwreck movement! (Waves pompoms around.)

C: The who did what for how many cookies?

K: (Blinks) If you would just read the stuff that I tell you too, you wouldn't have any trouble understanding these things!

C: Nope, prob'ly not. Anyway, this must end now, because you are too obsessed with your authors and you ish disturbing me.

K: We HAVE to end this now.

C: Okay! Bai bai! (Waves)

K: Later.


	6. And This Goes Where Again?

**DISCLAIMER: **Right, so yeah, we still don't own anything.

Author's Note:

Chiharu: Yaho, faithful readers! Sorry for taking so long to update, everyone! Hehehe…Ahem. Yeah, so we're not dead or anything, anyway. Alright, well, there's not too much important to say, so... Have this Christmas present of a Chapter Seven… I mean, Chapter Six (Haha! Just joking, Klinoa, just joking! winces and covers head) from ERoD! Enjoy!

Klinoa: Right, as Chi has already stated, we are not dead. Just slightly comatose for whatever reason. Also, there was a near disaster with chapter seven, where it went missing and we had to re-write it. Not cool. Anyway, hope you guys like this cahpter.

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**Chapter Six **

**And This Goes Where Again?**

The sun had risen high, peaked in the sky, and had now begun to sink, though it was nowhere near sunset. The sun was warm on Lance's skin as the mutant turned the Jeep around a corner, driving them down the paved rod that led to the campsite, which lay before them in plain sight.

Trees rose on either side of the road, but thinned as they neared the campsite, Whispering Pines. At the front of the campsite was a small parking lot, connected to a canteen and registration building, and next to that building was a playground. To the left of the parking lot was a mini put course, and across the road from that and next to the registration building was a playground. Leading away from the parking lot, out behind the canteen and over a hill which rose in the distance, was a thin boardwalk obviously leading to a beach.

To the same side of the parking lot as the mini put course and playground were the tent and RV lots. They stretched on for quite a bit, and the streets and paths between lots were dotted with people wandering around; walking dogs, chatting with their neighbors, and many looking as though they were headed from the beach.

Even to Lance, it was a beautiful place. There were trees everywhere, he could hear the sound of birds singing and, in the distance, he could see the glitter of water under the sun. There was only one thing that made him unable to fully appreciate the serenity before him.

"Save a horse, ride a cowboeeeeeeeee!"

Pyro's singing voice.

The insane Australian pyromaniac was currently belting out the song on the radio at eardrum-shattering levels. He had a voice that sounded like an elephant being stabbed to death with a rusty spoon. It was extremely painful.

"Make him stop, make him stop! Stop! Stop! STOP!" Pietro wailed from the backseat. "My poor ears can't take any more of this! They don't deserve it, either! Make him stop!"

"Gladly!" Lance snapped. He drove the Jeep in next to the registration office entrance and parked, shutting it off completely.

With the exception of Pyro, the entire group gave a collective, contented sigh as silence filled the air. "You could've at least waited 'til the end of the song, Lance, mate." He grumbled. "It's not like it would've killed you."

"Maybe not," Lance admitted, as he stepped out of the Jeep and started toward the office to book their lot. "But it might have killed you."

"What did he mean by that?" Pyro asked Wanda.

"You are an idiot." Wanda answered, shaking her head.

"Ugh! Are we ready to find a lot yet?" Pietro whined, rubbing his stomach. "I want to hurry and set up the tents so that I can get something to eat! All I've eaten all day is a _popsicle_, okay!"

"Hey, yo, you're not the only one who's hungry!" Toad complained beside him, sticking out his bottom lip. "None of us have had anything to eat since last night, so quit complaining like you're the only one starving!"

"_You_ stop complaining!" Pietro cried, slapping the frog boy in the shoulder. As the two of them began to sissy-fight in the back seat, Lance returned to the Jeep.

"Okay, here's the deal." He said as he climbed into the driver's seat and showed them a map of the campground. "The lots that are circled are the lots that we can pick from. Once we drive through the campsite and decide, we come back here, pay for the lot, and _then_ we go and set up our tent. Understand?"

"Yes, Sir!" Pietro said, snapping off a mock salute. "Let's move out!"

"There are a fair amount of available lots." Wanda said, looking at the map. "Do we know what kind of site we want?"

"One that's near the beach." Pietro said.

"No! One near the bathroom" Toad shouted.

"It has to be as far away from the canteens as possible." Freddy chimed in.

"And it _can't_ be near the beach." Pyro said. "The ones near the beach have the most sand, and the least flammable materials."

"But I just said that I wanted to be near the beach!" Pietro protested.

"Too bad!" Pyro shouted. "I need trees!"

"And I need space!" Wanda snapped. "We've got three tents, remember? One for me, one for Freddy and Toad, and one for the rest of you. We need a large one."

"Hey, Wanda! Why is it that you get a tent all by yourself, but I have to sleep with a fire-bug and- And-And _Lance_, who is just plain _evil_?" Pietro exploded as though he would die from the injustice. "It's just not fair, I'm telling you!"

"Pietro…" Wanda said slowly, giving him an icy glare. "In case you _haven't noticed_ in the past seventeen years, I am a girl. Girls and guys should not have to sleep in the same tent, especially since you guys are dumb, dirty, corn chip-smelling dipwads who can't even take care of keeping clean and showered on a regular basis."

"HEY!" Pietro countered, pointing vigorously at his head as though she should be able to know his life story just by looking at his slicked back hair. "Me, a dirtbag! HA! I'm not gross and smelly like these other guys! And corn chips? Ha, again! I'll happen to have you know that I smell like _fig-melon_, not _corn chips_!"

"_Fig-melon_?" Pyro questioned, raising an eyebrow as he turned around to give Pietro a weird look. "Pietro, mate, _please_ don't tell me that you just admitted to smelling like _fig-melon_!"

"Why?" Pietro asked, blinking at Pyro. "Is there something wrong with fig-melon?"

Pyro was about to speak, but Wanda placed her hand firmly over his mouth before he could.

"Don't even go there." She warned.

Nodding knowingly, Pietro sat back as Lance started the Jeep and they headed off to look for a suitable lot.

As they drove along, the Jeep became the carriage for a screaming match. No one wanted the same thing, and everyone's idea of a 'dream lot' contradicted everyone else's. And, being the Brotherhood of Mutants, there was no way possible for them to attend to the problem in a peaceful manner.

"But I want to be near the BEACH!" Pietro howled as hey moved past more wooded lots. It was obvious that, in order to avoid obtaining serious damage to their eardrums, they would need to fin a lot at least _near_ the beach.

However, an angry Australian made it very difficult to do that. "No, mate! God damn it, I told you; I am not sleeping near the beach! There is too much sand and nowhere near enough wood." He bellowed furiously. "And if I can't light things on fire, I will go _insane_!"

"Fine, yo." Toad said, crossing his arms and trying to look defiant. "But I need a place that's close to a toilet, okay? Otherwise, I'll be using our lot as my personal bathroom in the case of any emergencies!"

"Oh, no you won't be pissing in our lot!" Wanda snarled warningly, giving him a dirty look. "If you dare urinate anywhere _near_ my bed, I _swear_…"

"Oh! Don't start swearing, cuddlekins!" Toad whimpered as though she had broken his heart. "It's bad for you to do that, because you'll end up all stressed and unhealthy and-"

"I don't care, I don't care, I don't care!" Lance sang loudly, drowning them out. "Wanda, you pick the lot! We need something near the bathroom, away from the canteen, big enough for all three tents and near the beach. Sorry, Pyro, but not only can I not deal with Pietro's cry baby whining, but I don't want you to cause any major forest fires during our stay, thank you. I'll buy you kindling, instead."

"WHAT!" Everyone minus Pyro shouted.

"You heard me!" Lance snapped. "It's the only way to keep both him _and_ Pietro happy."

"True enough." Freddy said with a sigh.

"Alright, now that that's settled, we'll head toward the beach and see what we can find." Lance snorted.

They did just that, and the entire Jeepload of teens stared in shock at what they found there.

"I don't believe it." Lance said, almost tearfully, as he gazed at the lot before them. The lot was everything he had been looking for. "It's perfect for us! Something has finally gone right on this horrible trip!"

"It's lot number forty-seven." Wanda said, looking at the map. "Let's hurry up and get back to the office before someone else comes and takes it from us."

"Oh, no!" Lance shouted, taking a sharp U-turn to go back. "No one is taking this lot from us. I won't let it happen!

"Then stop for a second! Freddy, quick! Hop out and guard lot forty-seven for us until we get back!" Wanda ordered. Freddy hopped out and made a beeline for the lot, not particularly happy about his situation, but dreading more the repercussions of denying Wanda. He anchored himself in the center and looked as menacing as possible.

Satisfied with their strange lot ornament, the rest of the Brotherhood were soon tearing away in the Jeep toward the registration office.

Lance had barely parked the car before he was out over the door and tearing toward the office. He slammed his money down on the counter, startling the blonde teenager behind the cash register.

"C-Can I help you?" She asked, wide-eyed.

"Yes!" Lance cried, pushing the money toward her. "And the faster the better! Could I please rent out lot forty-seven for the next five nights!"

"Oh, lot forty-seven? That's a nice lot, my dad and I used to rent that one… Ummm…" She handed him his change, his receipt, and a large card to show that he had paid for the lot. "That was seventy-one dollars and thirty-five cents. Have a good time at Whispering Pines!"

"I'll try!" Lance said, hurrying out the door. He ran straight to the Jeep, waving the card for effect. "We got it!"

"Sweet!" Shouted Pietro. "Let's get down there and set up our tents!"

* * *

Not long after, the Brotherhood had made it to their lot and were making a serious attempt at setting up the three tents. Wanda, not surprisingly, had managed to set up her own tent in a matter of minutes, without any outside assistance. Climbing through the opening of her tent and pulling her backpack inside, she zipped the tent closed behind her. 

Freddy and Toad had a bit more trouble with their tent. Unable to find the instructions, they had spent at least a half-hour wandering around their pathetic, deflated canvass mound of a tent, trying to figure out how to erect it.

Eventually, after a lot of prodding, shouting and frustration, they finally had managed to pitch their tent. It was a bit lopsided, and they were completely unsure as to how they were supposed to use their tent's rain cover, but it was up, at least.

The other three, however, hadn't been so lucky. As Wanda extracted herself from her tent, she was appalled by the state of theirs. It was a bunch of crooked poles, flimsy, tangled canvass and three very stunned and frustrated, one of which was now a part of the tangled mass on the ground.

"I don't get it!" Pietro wailed from where he lay caught in the tangle on the ground. "I looked at all the picture of the tent, and then I used my speed to put it up quickly. However, instead of staying up properly, it collapsed on top of me. It's just not fair!"

Lance snorted from the lawn chair that he had lodged himself into. Their first attempt had brought the tent down on Pyro, who had then attempted to burn his way out. At that point, Lance had officially given up on the tent, and had sat down to watch the show.

Pyro tilted his head at the tent. "Well, mate, obviously we're doing something back-asswards. He announced, stating something which was already obvious to everyone else. "Let's try untangling you and start from square one…"

He leaned over the other boy and, after a few moments of intense struggling, the tent released its captive. Pietro scrambled away from the tent. Climbing to his feet, he fixed his twisted pant legs, giving the mass of twisted camping equipment a dirty look.

"This is extremely undignified, just so you guys know." He growled, putting his hands on his hips and glaring Pyro in the face. "If you guys are always doing stuff like this, then it's no big surprise that any of you have lady troubles!"

"Hey! Watch it, Speedy!" Pyro retorted, sticking his finger in Pietro's face. "I may be aggressive, I may be a pyromaniac, and I may be a bit eccentric, but I've _never_ had any troubles with the Sheilas!"

"Get your stupid finger out of my face!" Pietro exclaimed, slapping the Aussie's hand away. Pyro, initially startled, snarled and tackled the other boy.

"They're at it again, yo!" Toad shouted. This was the third fight that the two boys had been in since the group had arrived at the lot.

"That's it! I'm not taking this any longer!" Wanda snarled. "I'm turning the hose on the two o them."

Grinding her teeth audibly, she marched over their lot's water spout, attached its hose, and sprayed the two combatants.

"Argh!" Screeched Pietro. "My hair! You're going to ruin my hair!"

"Aieeeeeeee!" Shrieked Pyro. "I'm wet! I hate being wet! I hate when anything is wet! Wet things don't burn!"

"Well then shut up and put your stupid tent together, bozos!" Wanda barked, turning off the hose and shaking it at them and spattering them with the left over water. "NOW!"

"Eep! Okay, okay! Just quit it with the hose, you crazy b…Bohemian!" Pietro gave Wanda a sheepish grin, and she returned it with a fiery glare. He had barely managed to contain the word that he had meant to say, and he didn't want to imagine what horror would have become him had he failed to.

He shuddered at the thought, and went about straightening the poles as Pyro shed his wet shirt, hanging it from a tree branch.

"Ewww… I hate water! It's such a nasty thing…"

"It's also necessary for your survival, you idiot." Wanda said, rolling her eyes.

"That is a blatant lie!" Pyro snapped. "That's just what the government _wants_ us to believe!"

"Okay then." Wanda raised an eyebrow at him before disappearing back into her tent.

She reappeared quickly enough, however. The boys had made three more unsuccessful attempts at setting up their tent. When the last one resulted in Pyro almost getting knocked unconscious by a stray tent pole, Wanda came out screaming.

"I've had enough! Lance," She bellowed, rounding on the boy in question. "Help them with that stupid tent or I'll KILL YOU!"

"Okay, okay! You idiots, get the hell out of my way!" Lance exploded, knocking the lawn chair over as he flew to his feet. Pushing both Pyro and Pietro out of the way, he went to work on the tent.

Three hours later, the sun had set completely, and they had finally managed to at least half-pitch their tent. With the tent sort-of-firmly in place, the boys stood back and examined their creation. The cover was limp and had been attached to the tent holes by several hair elastics.

The tent itself was even more lopsided than the other boys', and looked a bit strange with a huge patch made out of duct tape on the side to cover the hole that Pyro had melted in it when it had collapsed on him.

Lance looked at it with a begrudging sigh as he rubbed his temples. It wasn't correct, and it was far from beautiful, but it was a place to sleep, which was exactly what Lance wanted to do.

Putting their three small, army-surplus air-mattresses into the tent, Lance gave them the deadliest look his tired muscles could muster. "Now, I'm going to tell you all this; I am going to sleep." He snarled to the boys alone, since Wanda had already gone to bed. "I don't know how, but it's already ten-thirty. If you morons _want_ to stay up, you _can_, but I swear, if you keep _me_ awake, you'll be sorry! You hear me?"

The boys answered with vigorous nods, staying completely silent as Lance snatched up his sleeping bag and disappeared into the tent. Pietro looked at the others with an expression which was a mixture of terror and mental agony.

"I think we should have taken a bus up here. That way we could have left Lance at home."

* * *

**Realtfarraige:** Guys suspect things like that because, at least when it comes to women, they are stupid. As for ending up on the news, let's just say that anything is possible.

**RougefanKC:** We'll split the cookie, chances are Chi will steal it anyway, seeing as Klin is not exactly junk food's biggest fan. As for our camping trips, you ain'tseen nothin' yet. It's going to get way worse from here. Yeah, let's just say that some of our exploits are akin to those of one St. John Allerdyce, and leave it at that.

**Lance Avalanche Alvers:** Thanks for the review!

**Crystaline-Crimson:** It's our firm belief that Evo Pietro may in fact be quite gay, there were a fair amount of hints at it anyway, either that or he's the ultimate metrosexual like a friend of ours. Anyway, thanks for the review.

**karai:** Oh Lance hasn't even begun to go nuts. It's going to get worse from here.

**Chitsuki Masuki:** The pet names are going to get worse hun, just you wait and see.

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Klinoa: Right, so I'd just like to say Merry Christmas to all of our lovely reviewers. Hopefully we'll write faster in the New Year.

Chiharu: Hai, Klin-chan did just say the, "This is going to get worse." line in almost every single review. Go, Klin! Okay, anyhow... Sayounara, shoujo to shounen! Kurisumasu omedetou! throws holly and mistletoe at you Hehehehehehe!


	7. Calling Card Only

**Author's Notes:**

Klin here. Okay yeah, so when I said that hopefully we'd be able to write faster in the New Year I seem to have jinxed us. However, this story has not been given up on. It's still going strong. This is chapter 7 here, and, despite the fact that it's been re-written three times already, due to parts of it getting lost, chapter 8 is well under way.

Also, the scarecrow village, as well as scarecrows, mentioned here really do exist. We visit it every time that we go camping.

**DISCLAIMER:** We own nothing here.

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**Chapter 7**

**Calling Card Only**

Early the next morning Lance found himself crawling over his snoring tent-mates in an attempt to get outside and find himself a place to shower. Stumbling outside, he blinked at the sudden harsh glare of the sun.

"You're up early." A voice commented.

Lance turned and saw Wanda sitting at their lot's picnic table. "What're you doing there?" He asked.

"Nothing." She replied with a shrug. "I just woke up early. What're you doing up?"

"I'm getting a shower." He said a little defensively.

She smirked slightly. "Is that so? Are you sure that you're not just looking for a way to call Kitty?"

"What?" He asked, shocked because the thought of calling Kitty had quite honestly not even crossed his mind. "I am not!"

"Really?" Wanda sounded surprised. "You're not very bright are you?"

"And what's that supposed to mean?" He demanded.

"It means, you idiot, that you are an insensitive jerk! Huh, I bet you didn't even tell her that you were going somewhere."

Lance blinked. That was true. He _hadn't _told Kitty that they were leaving.

_Still_, he thought, _that shouldn't mean much, right? Kitty wouldn't be angry, would she? _Lance quickly decided to head off to the showers. He didn't want Wanda to worry him anymore.

However, once he reached the showers, the idea still hadn't gone away. Truthfully, it had ballooned into a giant, looming monstrosity that was hovering ominously over him.

Would Kitty be angry with him? After all, he hadn't called before leaving, and, from he had leaned so far in life, women were very sensitive,. What if, when she found out that he'd gone away without warning her, he hurt her feelings?

Or, worse yet, what if something bad had happened while he was away? What if Kitty was distraught, and was sitting in her room, and crying, all alone...And then she realized that, since he was gone, she only had one person to turn to...Colossus!

Oh sure, the big metal guy seemed nice, but Lance knew that he was interested in Kitty. He just knew it!

Lance shook his head vigorously to clear it and leapt form the shower, drying off and starting to pull on his clothes. Kitty shouldn't have to do any crying on anyone else's shoulder. That's what his shoulder was for! He had to get a hold of her, before something terrible happened. On that thought, Lance raced back to the lot.

Thinking quickly, he flung his dirty clothes inside the tent then dashed to the area that all the food was currently located at. If he cooked breakfast, then he could use it as an excuse to get them all into town quickly. He could convince them to go sight-seeing.

He couldn't use the phones from the camp because they were calling card only.

That's right. Calling. Card. Only! He'd noticed a sign yesterday saying this. At the time it hadn't bothered him, but now it was the most terrible saying in the entire English language.

He needed to get into town, but he couldn't let the others know why he wanted to go. Which meant that he would have to take them with him, find something for them to do, and then take off and find a phone while they were busy.

If only he had just been a sensitive boyfriend from the start, he wouldn't be going through the internal hell that he was going through right now. He pulled out the Coleman stove and the food that he would need for breakfast. He hurried and whipped up the first of several breakfasts, then dropped it in front of Wanda and moved on to more food.

The girl blinked, but shrugged philosophically and began to eat. It was very rare that she didn't have to cook for herself, and she was not going to pass up the chance.

Meanwhile, Lance had taken a pot and ladle, and was currently banging them together outside of his tent. "Come on guys! Up and at em! Let's go! We're going into town! Now get out here, have some breakfast, and get ready to go!"

After a moment, Pietro crawled out of the tent, and glared at Lance. "What is the matter with you, you freak! I was sleeping!"

"I know that, Pietro." Lance said. "However, I want to get an early start today. So get up!"

"Fine!" Grumbling, Pietro lurched over to the picnic table and looked at the food placed upon it. "Why are you making breakfast?" He asked suspiciously. "You never cook for us. You never do anything nice for us. What're you up to? What's your game? What's your angle? Why does Pyro have underwear on his head?"

Raising an eyebrow at this last question, Lance turned to look in the same direction as Pietro. Sure enough, Pyro was slowly emerging from their tent, with Lance's boxers perched on top of his head.

"What mate?" Pyro asked, covering a wide yawn with his hand as he stepped out of the tent. He straightened up and raised his arms above his head in a stretch. Pietro stifled a laugh at how ridiculous and awkward his teammate looked. "What did you say?"

"I said, Pyro, that you have a pair of boxers, probably Lance's since he's dressed, on your head." Pietro answered. Pyro looked for a moment as though he hadn't yet processed what the speed-demon had said to him. Then it hit home.

"ARRGH! BLECH!" Pyro exploded, scrambling and pulling the boxers from his head as though they were the most disgusting things on the planet. He then drew fire from the stove, lit the underwear on fire, and stomped them into the ground.

"Urg! That's disgusting, mate!" He hollered, messing up his hair as if trying to free dirt from it. "Your boys were in there! Your BOYS!"

"EWEWEWEW! This is disgusting!" Screaming, he proceeded to run in circles until an annoyed Wanda hexed him into a tree.

"Thanks, Sheila." He muttered. "I needed that."

"Anytime." She replied.

"Hey, yo. Why're we goin' in town, Lance?" Todd asked as he hopped out of his tent, with Freddy lumbering along behind him.

"We are going sight-seeing." Lance said. "Now hurry up and eat so that we can get going."

Grumbling, everyone did as they were told.

An hour later, the Brotherhood had been loaded into Lance's jeep and were on their way toward town. Lance was currently thinking about all the things that might be happening to Kitty, and the others were chattering merrily amongst themselves.

"...so after that it was no contest. She just kind of...fell against me. I had totally snagged her, y'know what I mean." Pietro grinned triumphantly. "It's so easy to get the ladies, if you follow my ten tips for getting said ladies."

"Oh, dear Lord..." Wanda muttered under her breath. Pietro then went on to explain his tips from 'smell good at all times and look good even more frequently' to 'always look like your listening...even when you're not'.

"Wow! Goes that stuff actually work, yo?" When Pietro nodded, Todd's face lit up. "Hey, yo! You have to teach me! I can learn! I can learn!"

"Maybe when we return home, young padawan." Pietro answered, looking quite pleased with himself. "This Jedi master has much to teach you, but it will have to wait. Right now, he's on vacation."

"I am in hell." Wanda muttered, rubbing her temples.

"And I am in heaven!" Pyro suddenly screamed. "LANCE! Go there! Pull over there!" The Aussie was frantically pointing as a field in front of them. It had a sign announcing 'Joe's Scarecrow Village'. The field held dozens of scarecrows dressed up as various people. "I want to go! I love scarecrows!"

Lance thought quickly. This was the opportunity that he'd been waiting for, but he had to be careful. He did not want the place that he intended to abandon his team in to go up in flames.

"Pyro," he said. "I really don't want to go. However, as long as the others keep you under control, I will drop all of you off and come back for you later."

There, not only would the others be kept busy, but now he would have an excuse to go off on his own.

"You mean you're actually going to let us go off on our own?" Pietro asked with skepticism. "What is wrong with you today? First, you make us breakfast. Now, you're going to let us do what we want to do without an argument! Who are you and what have you done with Lance!"

"Shut up and get out before I change my mind!" Lance snarled, pointing at the Scarecrow Village. The others scrambled out of the vehicle and took off. Lance held off on smiling until he had pulled out of the parking lot. Now he could search for a phone in peace.

The group spread out, and quickly amused themselves.

Pietro was currently having a discussion with two scarecrows who had the faces of George Bush and Bill Clinton.

"You guys really need to give us mutants a hand you know? We really could use some help."

Freddy was reading the card on a scarecrow with the face of Elvis. Apparently, he was the only original scarecrow left. All the others had been burned in a fire that had been set by teenagers in 1986. "That's so sad." He muttered. "How could people hurt innocent scarecrows?'

Wanda turned to look at Pyro. "Don't even think about it, you ass."

Pyro blinked. "I DIDN'T set the fire Sheila. Why're you getting angry with me?"

"You'd set fire to it if you had a chance!"

"No, I wouldn't! Stop being mean to me!"

"NO!"

Meanwhile, Todd was standing near a scarecrow named Brian. "I know just how you feel, yo." Brian was seated on a toilet formed from a bucket, and was saying what a relief it was.

"Hey you guys!" Freddy said suddenly. "Why don't some of you stand at the photo places, and I'll take your pictures with my camera."

Pietro declined, deciding instead to go and talk to a group of scarecrows dressed up as a wedding party. However, Wanda, Todd, and Pyro all went over.

"Ohh, ooh, I want the one in the fisherman garb!" Pyro exclaimed, jumping up and sticking his face under the fisherman's hat. "Argh, matie! Haha! Sexy, huh mates?"

"It's beautiful, Pyro." Wanda said sarcastically, rolling her eyes. Todd jumped up onto one of the smaller blocks, behind an antlered photo-skeleton.

"Come on, Wan Wan!" Todd sang, waving to her. " Hop up behind that other one, beautiful! We'll look just like a happy family!" Wanda gave Todd a dirty look.

"You wouldn't catch me dead behind one of those things." She snarled, hands on her hips. "And besides, who ever said that I want to have a happy family with you two?"

"You know you love us, Sheila." Pyro responded, cheerfully, glancing around his scarecrow and grinning. "C'mon, join the fun! Do you really want to have us bugging you about it for the next twenty minutes?"

Wanda, at that thought, suddenly looked as though her resolve was weakening. Todd took advantage of it and threw in, "And anyway, once you do it, you never have to do it again. We won't bug you anymore."

Sighing, Wanda strode over to the indicated figure and stuffed her head in the slot. "Hurry up and take the damn picture!" She growled.

Freddy happily obliged, and as soon as he was done, the others headed off to find other things to amuse themselves with.

Todd sat down on a little kids bike and had Freddy take a picture of it. Wanda was glancing at a pair of identical scarecrows. Their names were Barry and Brian. Apparently, they were twins, who step danced.

"Dear God. I hope Pietro doesn't see these two." She muttered. "The last thing I need is him getting the bright idea that we could bond over dancing lessons."

Thinking of her brother, she looked around and saw that he, along with the other boys, had joined a circle of scarecrows who were playing a frozen game of ring-a-round-the-rosie. Freddy, Todd, and Pyro, had joined the chain of scarecrows, and her twin was dancing in the center and hooting.

Rolling her eyes, Wanda walked over and raised her eyebrows at them. "What the ell are you guys doing?" She asked. "You look like idiots."

"Oh, c'mon, Wanda! We do not!" Freddy laughed from where he stood, holing hands with Pyro and Todd. "We're just having fun. Why don't you have fun too?"

"Yeah!" Todd exclaimed, waving her over with his free hand. "You can hold my hand and everything!" Wanda raised her eyebrows even higher at the suggestion, looked at Todd's hand, and shuddered.

"I think I'll pass, thanks." She picked Freddy's camera up off the ground and waved it. "Anyway, how about I take pictures of you idiots." She then snapped a photo, then moved to examine a scarecrow with a witch mask for a face.

Pyro, Todd, and Freddy shrugged and moved away to look at some of the other scarecrows. Pietro continued to dance in the broken circle for a few seconds, but quickly got bored of it.

He then leapt out of the circle, ran over to the bike that Todd had vacated earlier, and began to peddle it very quickly.

Wanda sighed, snapped a picture of this, and then hexed him off of the bike before he could brake it. "Lance had better get back here soon." She growled.

Lance, unlike his male companions, was not having a good time at all. He was frantic now. The town was quite small, and right on the coast. It had one main street, that ran for about four kilometers from one boundary line to the other. A few houses and small businesses dotted the coastal side of that street, but most of the buildings were on the inside of the road.

He had been told by a local that he would only find payphones along the main road, but, so far, he was being very unlucky. He had found three payphones; one had eaten his change, one hadn't worked at all, and the receiver of the third hadn't even been attached.

He felt panicked. What if there weren't any payphones working at all? What would he do then? He had to call Kitty, or there would be repercussions that he didn't even want to think about.

Desperate, he ran down to the town's small boardwalk, and happily spotted a payphone at the end of it.

"Please work." He cried as he reached it. "Kitty might need me now!"

He placed his change in the machine, dialed, and to his utter joy heard a ringing sound. Sadly, his joy was not about to last. The voice that answered on the other end of the line wasn't Kitty's. It wasn't even close.

"Hello?" Came Summer's voice. "Hello? Is anyone there?"

"It's Lance." Said Lance.

"Alvers?" Summers barked. "What are you calling for?"

" I just want to talk to Kitty!"

"Oh no! No way, no how! I'm not going to let you bother her, you idiot. She's busy! Go away!"

"But-!" Lance started to protest, but ti was too late. Summers had hung up on him.

He let the receiver drop, his fists clenching along with his jaw as an angry heat filled his cheeks. He made a growl deep in his throat and stomped his foot against the boardwalk, screaming, "That bastard!"

As his foot hit the ground, however, the earth quivered beneath him, then convulsed in a tremor so great that it threw him from his feet and he only barely managed to jump onto the grass before the land holding the boardwalk crumbled and disappeared below the water, taking anyone walking on it for the ride. Luckily it was a short drop.

"Oh, shit, piss, and corruption." Lance muttered, his face collapsing against the grass. This was not, by any stretch of the imagination, one of Lance's better days.

Several hours later, the other members of the Brotherhood were really starting to wonder what had become of their missing teammate.

They had tried to entertain themselves by going to the gift-shop. Wanda had gotten a scarecrow doll, Pyro a postcard, Freddy a fridge magnet, Todd a hat, and Pietro a spoon. They had even bought a mug for Lance.

However, they had been at the village for about six hours now, and they were more than ready to leave.

"Where is he?" Pietro demanded for what Pyro and Todd counted as the 156th time. "He should be back by now. Hell, he should have been back hours ago!"

Outside, there was the sudden screech of tires, and Lance's jeep skidded to a stop outside. Pietro opened the gift-shop door to hear Lance screaming. " - INTO THIS JEEP RIGHT NOW, OR I'M GOING TO KILL ALL OF YOU, YOU HEAR ME?"

Pietro closed the door and looked at his teammates in horror. "Well, it sounds like Lance had fun...Who wants to ask him why he's so late?"

"I will." Wanda said bluntly, stuffing the scarecrow plushy into her bag. "Not only am I the only one who's not afraid of Lance at all, but I'm the only one who has any tact at all."

"Hey! I'm not afraid of him!" Pietro huffed as he opened the door again. "I'm just -"

"- GET THE HELL OUT HERE OR I"M GOING TO TAKE YOU AND THROW YOU OFF A CLIFF!"

"Eep!" Pietro hid quickly behind Wanda, muttering. "Okay, maybe I'm a little afraid of him, but only a little, and only when he's like this."

"Sure Pietro, sure." Wanda muttered, stepping outside. Marching over to the jeep, she stood with her hands on her hips, and glared at Lance. "Where have you been?" She demanded angrily. "And don't even think about yelling at me!"

"I just spent several hours talking to the police after I accidentally made the town boardwalk break apart, and sent several people our for an unexpected swim! Luckily the police decided that the wood simply rotter away. However, they wouldn't let anyone leave until all the people had been accounted for. It took a while!"

"I see." Wanda said, blinking slightly. "By any chance did you manage to get a hold of Kitty?"

A slight tremor, and Lance's gritted teeth gave her the answer she'd been expecting. I didn't think so."

"Alright then." She sighed, and waved her hands at the other boys, who had their faces pressed up against the gift-shop windows. "Come on you morons." She called, "We're going back to the campground now."

The other boys hurriedly rushed out and climbed into the jeep. However, none of them said a word to Lance for fear that he would murder them if they spoke. For that reason it was a very quiet, very scary ride home.

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And that's the end of our most recent chapter. We're now at the halfway point of this story. Chapter 8 is well in the works, and hopefully will be up much faster than this one.

By the way, that calling card only deal, and Lance's search for a payphone? All the exploits of one Chiharu Nekama. Only she didn't destroy the boardwalk where we discovered that working payphone. She also managed to reach her boyfriend. Sadly for Lance, we're not that kind to him.

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**Shout-outs:**

**RogueFanKC:** Our camping trips have scared other people, it's true, but they're really quite fun. Plus, one must remember, the events in this story have taken place over a six year period, whereas the Brotherhood are dealing with them all in one trip. Oh and lot 47 is our lucky lot, it has everything we need to be comfortable. Hope you like this chapter. Actually, we hope you're just still reading!

**Lt Commander Richie:** Happy to hear you like it!

**person:** Thank you for reading.

**Amelia Glitter:** We haven't abandoned you. Hope you like this chapter.


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